Saturday, January 30, 2010
Food Cravings and the Blues
I think about food all the time now. It's becoming an obsession, like an alien has taken over my brain. I know my uterus is growing and is about the size of a grapefruit now, but I still wonder if I'm getting a gut or if it's pregnancy bulge. Sure, I'm eating more, but I've only gained about 3 pounds so far. Let's just say it's all the baby and I haven't grown an inch of fat!
This picture marks 10 weeks and 4 days. I think the last picture was taken at 6-ish weeks along. Yeah, I can see a small change. I feel it too, almost like an actual grapefruit is sitting on my bladder and intestinesl. On average, I'm getting up 3 times in the middle of the night. Gosh, it really sucks when you're enjoying good sleep and you have to get up for fouth time like last night! But I'm still very happy for every prego symptom :)
I'm feeling really down these days. I know it's because I've lost the wind in my sails. The exercise I used to get on a regular basis isn't apart of my life right now. When the nausea and fatigue hit like a ton of bricks, I literally stayed on the couch all day. But now that it's beginning to lift, I know something is missing- my energy. I love my energy! I've always been active and fit and it's a HUGE part of my life. I'm the one that's usually getting other people motivated. Now I need someone to motivate me.
The other side of it is feeling like I have some kind of condition that other people don't want to be around. It's crazy but subconsciously, I think that being pregnant makes me a downer, a non-fun person that my non-pregnant friends have nothing in common with anymore. In all honesty, I hardly want to be around myself sometimes because I feel like such a slug. This creates a vicious cycle of negative self talk and all I really want are other pregnant women to come around me and say they know just how I feel and give me a big hug! Because, really!...who else really understands but other females undergoing the same mysterious changes?!
If I could put an add in the paper today, it would say: "First time pregger seeking friend who likes to eat and would go on long walks and give pep talks to whenever necessary."