I'm getting closer to switching to part-time, but wrestling with feelings of guilt. I feel pressure to be the kind of girl who works full-time and practically goes into labor at work, but I'm just not that person. I always knew that I wanted my career to take the back burner soon into my pregnancy, but now that it's here, I feel so guilty about doing that!
Nursing is all about serving and I've always felt that the people that are drawn to this field have such a complex about pleasing people. I am one of those, and I feel so compelled to please my husband, my coworkers and my friends with this choice to stay full-time or not.
Right now, I work 2-10hr shift and 1-12hr shift. This has to stop. Marathon days leave me feeling winded and sick. There is the option of shortening those days and doing 4-8hr shifts. And yet, I'm not comfortable with that option either because it may be spreading myself thinner. What I really want is to work 3-8hr shifts, but I feel like I'm letting everyone down.
I've talked about it with Jason, and he is agreeable to whatever I feel I need to do. But I'm not sure what I need, just what seems ideal to me. Just because I'm pregnant, does that mean I should have the most ideal of situations when I decide I'm ready? How hard do I need to push myself to prove that this is what I need?