Saturday, April 3, 2010

Still Glowing

I had a dream last night that I had our baby but he was 3 or 4 months old. Brought him home for the first time and I slept the first 18hrs straight. I woke up to him crying and realized I hadn't changed his first diaper or done the first breast feeding with him yet! My poor son! So I got on track with that, but then it seemed for the first few days something was still wrong. He only ate and made a diaper once a day. I thought to myself, 'This baby is too perfect, and he's always smiling and laughing! What am I missing?' I'm still glowing after seeing my son on ultrasound just 2 days ago. It's amazing how this love springs up from seemingly, out of nowhere! And then I immediately think, 'THis is exactly why God made us apart of the creating process, so we would experience at least a fraction of the same love he feels toward us.' I know this baby has done anything, much less show up in my arms yet to earn my love. I just love him more than anything or anybody I've ever felt love for. It's so pure and undefinable, and that's what sets it apart. HOw much further set apart is this cosmic love God has for us, and yet he instills it in us. It's no wonder we wrestle with it, it's beyond reason. Becoming a parent sure changes your life at a heart level, maybe even deeper. I am so blessed to be this baby's mama. He's already changed my world.
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